Ok, for those of you who don't drink diet coke or never have you may not understand where I am coming from on this post. I figured putting this just after my resolution post was appropriate since I shouldn't be writting about this anyway. I am once again trying to give up my diet coke addiction. (was successful and diet coke free for 2 months only to fall of the wagon in november). Not my caffeine addiction, my diet coke addiciton. I don't know what this stuff is laced with but it has a hold on me like nothing I have ever consumed. (which isn't saying a whole lot). I took this picture yesterday when I knew it was the last can in the refrigerator and it was all I could think about ALL day. Now some of you may be thinking, what's the big deal, so she drinks diet coke?! Well, I have to confess that when it is in the house I drink 6 or more cans a day. Not to mention when we go out to eat I can drink three or four refills. The crazy thing is that my brain craves it and at the same time my body hates it. It does crazy things to me. I know the aspartame is terrible for me and that is why I want to stop this bad habbit. But how can I know how horrible it is to consume and still pop open can after can? My head pounds and throbs yet I open another trying to convince myself that just one more will make me feel better. I watch my stomach blow up like a balloon and still drink away. I have even had chest pain after a day of drinking til my heart's content and still don't stop. Well, I did stop a few months ago. I had the flu and was puking and felt lousy anyway, so I figured I would go for it cold turkey since I was sick anyway. It was miserable, but I did it. The horrible thing is that I thought about diet coke every minute even when I didn't drink it. I would pass McDonalds and think if I only could stop and get just one diet coke. I started "closet drinking" when the boys were at school and john was at work. No one knew that I was sneaking it and then just started buying 12 packs again and here I am. I am once again at a place where all I think about is my diet coke, (pathetic, I know), but you should try this stuff. I am telling you, there is some additive that makes you HAVE to have it. So in writing, I am outing myself and looking for accountability. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I don't want anything to have a hold on me (except jesus). I have a fridge full of water and iced tea and tomorrow is the first day I won't pop open a cold, refreshing can of diet coke to start my day. I don't think I have it in me to go cold turkey, but won't be buying 12 packs anymore. Maybe I can enjoy one here or there on date nights but otherwise here is saying good-bye to my unhealthy and ridiculous obsession with diet coke.
2 comments:
i curse the day that you ever encouraged me to "choke down" a couple of diet cokes and then i "might" begin to like them. now i'm in the same boat, but hated the stuff just two years ago. plus, i've never weighed nearly this much in my entire life - even back when i chugged regular coke and sweet tea while getting asked to leave buffets (yes, true story for those that may not know - my one claim to fame).
It's funny because I just decided to kick my Dr.pepper addiction or D.P.as we call it. See I even have a nickname for it,now that's pathetic :) But I know EXACTLY what you are going through I could have wrote this post myself!! Hey, we can be cola kickin' buds... HA!:)
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