blah...

spiritual warfare? unhealthy kids? just plain bad luck?...

who knows, all I know is I have had one hour of sleep after staying up all night with my precious logan who threw up until he couldn't even breathe.  Every 20 minutes, back to the bathroom for another round.  At 3 am it started coming out both ends and my poor logan couldn't even sit up he was so weak.  This rotavirus has a thing for my family and I'm so tired of it.  So much for getting immunity if you have it.  We have it at least twice a year, with both boys. sigh. 

I'm off to hold my baby.

welcome 2010

Wow, where has another week gone. We are 5 days into January and time has not slowed down at all for me to catch up.  I have gotten a few things done.  The pantry is organized! I finally called the fridge repair man and after 3 years of procrastinating, we now have ice!!! Yeah, no more filling those darn trays.  The awesome repair guy also fixed the water line that was apparently frozen solid and hasn't worked for 2 months! woohoo! And I have to say, I kinda miss the loud humming noise that I had grown so used to hearing.  Anyway, check that off my list of things to do! I also did 1 scrapbook page. Yes, I said ONE.  It's better than my 2009 average of 0!  I really need to catch up.  My poor baby who is now 4 wants to know where HIS baby book is! Yikes.  Christmas is almost taken down.  Slowly but surley everything is getting put into awesome red and green rubbermaids.  I started last year and the organizing continues as everything has a place and bin.  That almost makes me want to squeal.  Headed to Target in the morning to pick up a few more bins just to make sure I have enough!

I have been laying low on the posting here on my blog, but have been busy pouring my heart and soul into my prayer journal.  It is so wonderful to keep record of prayer requests, life events, things that are important so you can look back and see how God works and watch his plan unfold.  I pray for God's will in my life all the time, and sometimes that is a general, sweeping, generic, christian request that I selfishly pray.  This week it has been a detailed, specific, step by step, concious, prayer journal full of asking for guidance, peace, wisdom, understanding, and direction. 

2009 was a year filled with wants and desires for me.  I have wanted another baby for more than a year now and have a deep desire to carry another child.  As anyone knows, that decision takes 2 people! :)  I have prayed and waited patiently for God's will in our lives whether it be to have another child, adopt, or thank God for our 2 wonderful miracles and remain a blessed family of 4.  There are so many variables, so many pros and cons, so many what ifs, but my heart has kept tugging and I have felt as though our family is not complete.  My husband has prayed along side me but has been very vocal about us not trying to conceive again.  He is all for adopting, however, I have not felt the same peace about that.  So as 2010 rolls along at a pace I already can't keep up with, I will be praying harder than last year, listening a little more carefully, finding more time to be still and know my God, and continue to pray for His will in my life!  And when I'm not around for a little while, it's probably because I'm frantically writing in my prayer journal!!!

A Decade in Review

I saw this idea on another blog and loved it...so I have to borrow it.. It is amazing to think of 10 years and what changes have occured in my life! God is so good and faithful!
(disclaimer: this is long, once I started got excited about documenting milestones! more for me than you!)

2000

Adjusted to life in the real world with first job as a Registered Nurse

Learned how to deal with the stress of working in ICU

Bought my first home (a townhouse)

Realized living on my own was lonely even though I was still 15 min from mom and dad

Met the man of my dreams and realized he would one day be my husband

2001

Jan 26th, got engaged to my prince charming and started planning a wedding

Wanted to marry in may, got talked into september for "financal reasons"

Realized my future husband was brilliant and full of potential

Signed him up for the MAT without him knowing then drove him to take it so he could go to graduate school (his dream but needed a kick in the back side)

Start the application process for john to go to anesthesia school

Prayed for guidance in so many life changing areas

Sept 8th- marry the man of my dreams

Sept 11th- watch the twin towers fall while on a cruise ship on our honeymoon.

Try to get in touch with family from ship, no luck.

Feel sad and scared and try to enjoy the honeymoon anyway

sept 20something- get on a plane for interview to Duke for john, near panic attack flying so close to the terrorist attacks

dec-john interviews in kansas for anesthesia school

I don't go because "God would never send me to Kansas!"

John gets accepted to KU immediately.

I tell my family and new hubby I can't go to kansas

God starts revealing His plan for us to go to where?KANSAS

2002

John interviews at UAB, knowing he had KU to fall back on

I hope to fall in love with birmingham while there, hate it

March-put house up for sale to get ready to move to kansas

thinking it will take a while, sells in 2 days

Move in with mom and dad for 2 months while getting ready for move to kansas

May-move to kansas, john starts school

I stay behind to finish working and become and aunt for the first time!

I join john in kansas. hardest move of my life.

Have to totally rely on GOD for everything.

Find amazing job with nursing agency at 2 great hospitals

Make enough to support john going through school and live in 2 bedroom apt.

Realize how stressful it is to bethe breadwinner, move away from home, get married, and start feeling alone and lost

Homesick and depressed

Realize the honeymoon is over and had no clue how hard marriage really was going to be

Take a much needed vacation to the beach following john's first semester in grad school

Pack my bags for home and tell my hubby this is too hard (didn't ever make it out the front door)

decide to "stick it out" and adjust my expectations

Find an amazing church and start going to a couples bible study in kansas

2003

John starts in the OR for anesthesia school and stress levels reach an all time high.

Marriage is tough and my prayer life gets an overhaul.

Start longing for a family and the desire to have a baby burns in me

Realize we hadn't gotten pregnant and had been married almost 2 years.

Countless doctor's appointments and a diagnosis of infertility

Depressed, devistated, exhausted

Cry myself to sleep for weeks

mourn the loss of not conceiving and start praying for a miracle (along with hundreds of other people through prayer chains)

may- travel home for hubby's best friend's wedding

June- get in-vitro payment plan in the mail and again grieve over the thought of not having children

See 2 faint lines and realize God loves me

Take 3 more tests and know a miracle has taken place

Hospitalized for hyperemesis and find out pregnancy is tough

Stress out about not being able to work while so sick and being the bread winner.

Meet and get to know my best friend through work

Continue to enjoy new and growing friendships through church and small group

Go to marriage counseling

Found out we would be having a BOY

2004

Working way too much, days, nights, weekends, ICU, labor and delivery all with agency, trying to keep up with bills and pregnancy

Blood pressure goes up and swelling starts. pregnancy does not agree with me

Feb 27th-induced and deliver a healthy baby boy after a very trying and painful labor

Bond with my miracle

Hubby excells in school and looks forward to a dec graduation.

realize my hubby is the best father I could ever have hoped for for my son (and more)

Baby blues set in

Have to go back to work

Gramma (my mom) makes a trip to kansas 9 times in 9 months to watch jackson while I work and sleep

Aug-trip to louisiana to house hunt and look for a job, realize family is what matters

Spend every penny we have to put a contract on builing our dream home

Dec- john finishes anesthesia school after much blood, sweat, and tears for both of us

Move home to louisiana and back in with my parents as our dream home finishes contruction

Jackson learns to walk and we are amazed everyday with our miracle and how wonderful he is

2005

Jan- john studies every waking minute for boards

John starts new job

11month old jackson is rushed to the ER with anaphylactic reaction to eggs (scariest few hours of my life)

Feb-move into dream home

Jackson turns 1

March- realize that God has a wonderful plan for us and that includes blessing us with another miracle baby

Aug 29th- Hurricane Katrina changes life as we know it forever

Again count our blessings-our home was spared

Endure another sick pregnancy and watch blood pressure go up

Realize it's hard to be pregnant and take care of a 1 year old

Nov 16- Logan Maxwell is born and my life is filled with joy

2006

Jan 1st brings God's faithfullness in john's job transition to new employer

Adjust to life with 2 boys

Settle into roll as stay at home mom and love it

Vacation back to kansas to visit dearly missed friends, didn't go quite as planned

Still adjusting to living in hurricane ravaged town

2007

John gets idea to write a book, I never knew he could write

Boys start mommy's day out

I lose 70 pounds of baby weight

Start making deeper friendships at church through couples small group- open up our home for meetings

Continue to learn that marriage is hard work and adjust to the demands of 2 kids on our relationship

Vacation in pensacola and realize how blessed I am

Enjoy hours of boating, swimming, and good ole' louisiana living with parents and sisters close by.

Realize family get togethers are crazy with 7 cousins under the age of 6

2008

My hubby spends hundreds of hours writing, editing, and ultimately self-publishing his book about anesthesia

Worry our oldest may have autistic traits, start evaluations and countless therapy session with multiple disciplines (ST, OT, etc.)

prayer life again gets revved up thinking about wanting only the best for our boys

Head back to the beach for our favorite vacation spot.

2009

Watch Jackson excel in school and progress through speech therapy and occupational therapy enough that our fears and concerns diminish

Train for and complete my first ever triathlon

I go back to work for first time in 5 years

Take a trip to Branson, Mo with in-laws

Boys meet mickey mouse!!! great vacation to disney with my parents

The most perfect beach vacation yet with crystal clear water and perfect weather. The boys love the sand

Can't shake the desire for another baby

Pray about adopting

Sign up for half marathon to race in 2010

Struggle with finding out who I am and what I'm here for...

We have had a crazy full week of wonderful activities! It all started last weekend with a trip to granny's house.  After a 5 hour drive, the boys were so excited to play with cousins and have fun on the farm.  They were pleasantly surprized that "santa" found them a weekend early and at granny's house.  We had a great time of playing, relaxing, making cookies, and eating way too much food.  Granny always spoils us! (and grandaddy too)

Next stop, christmas eve bruch only an hour away from home with more "cousins" and fun play time with trucker, a boxer puppy that the boys love after warming up to him.  We also got to meet new baby raimey and I got some baby love to fill my tanks!

Christmas Eve night I hosted my family get together with boys sisters, husbands and all the kids on my side of the family! 7 under the age of 7!!! A little crazy and so much fun. We ate and played and read the story of Jesus' birth.  The kids had fun acting out the shepards and angels with grandpa with he narrated! (pics to come)!

We then threw in an evening of gingerbread houses and boys was that fun  interesting! The boys had a blast and I am still vaccuming up sprinkles and candy.  Gramma and Grandpa came over for the fun and 3 hours of candy and frosting had my boys spinning forever on a sugar high!

And finally, Christmas morning! The boys were so cute. They slept in til 8am which was nice. They were content to open their stockings and play with a 3 dollar car and new toothbrushes. Go figure.  Santa brought a Wii this year and we have had a blast playing that as a family!!!

Christmas day was topped off with more presents at gramma's and lunch! yum.

Hoping you all have a very merry christmas and looking forward to a fabulous new year!!!!

...we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year...

i don't know if it is a problem with blogger or me but i can't upload any photos right now. don't even have the option for upload or attach in compose???? anyway, just wanted to say merry christmas a post some pics from our wonderful celebrations! lots of fun visiting family and friends and sharing company with ones we love! there was a trip to granny's, then to see family in ocean spring's, christmas even dinner at my house with my family and then santa this morning! more family fun for lunch at my mom's and now hours of fun wtih the big gift from santa...the Wii !!!! The boys LOVE it (and their mama does too)! anyway, will check in later to see if I can add some pics. hope everyone had a wonderful day and looking forward to a happy new year!

santa's on his way!

Santa's lap