Happy Mother's Day!

 

 I remember the day like it was yesterday...when they told me I wouldn't be able to have kids without infertility treatments.  I cried.  My first and only real dream I have had since I was a little girl, was to be a mommy.  After I cried, I prayed.  I prayed night and day for a blessing...for a miracle.

God heard me...God answered me...He knew the desires of my heart...He granted me not just one miracle, but two!  I will cherish my boys always and know that they are a precious gift from the Lord.  I am so truly blessed!! I can't imagine my life without my 2 angels!

A very special person that prayed those miracles into being, was MY mom.  She is amazing.  The most wonderful, servant-hearted woman I know! Thanks mom, for being an example of how to love, give, and serve.  You are incredible and I am so grateful to have not only the best mom, but my best friend! I LOVE YOU more than I can ever say!  Thank you!

I love being a mom...

is it possible?

is it possible that God chose to bless me with children?

is it possible that those 2 boys are actual miracles?

is it possible that i could have more love that ever imagined for my 2 miracles?

is it possible that it is the best job in the whole world to be their mommy?

is it possible that it has already been 6 years since my life changed forever with the birth of our 1st child?

is it possible to experience so much joy and fulfillment that i cry with life's little victories?

is it possible that my baby boy is four and a half and i've only just blinked?

is it possible that all my decisions revolve around those two little blessings?

is it possible that i really have BOYS?

is it possible that i actually love having boys and all the dirt and bugs that go along with it?

is it possible that these days we are walking out are just steps taken in a journey that just keeps getting better and better?

wow. yes. it IS possible.  it is amazing. it is my life as a mom and i love it!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there.  Here' s hoping your day is as wonderful as mine as we enjoy the children that call us mom!

life

Life seems to be flying by at the speed of light! School is back in session, the boys are busy and loving it! I decided after 5 years at home with the boys that it was time to get my foot back in the door and go back to work. I took a prn labor and delivery job at the local hospital and have been busy with orientation and starting. I am excited to get back into work that I love but only 1 day a week for now. I think it will be great for everyone because I will get out of the house for a little while and use my grown up skills but won't be gone enough for it to affect the boys and my responsibilities to the family! I have LOVED every minute of being a stay at home mom. I am so blessed that my husband has a career that allowed me to devote 100 percent of my time and energy to the boys. I would not have had it any other way.
So if I don't pop in as often, it is just because life is flying by and I haven't stopped to post. Hope everyone has a wonderful week!!

some law of nature...

we are the marble family and our motto lately is murphy's law..."Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

I am not one to research laws of thermodynamics, nor do I have the time. You see in just the last 2 weeks of august I have lost count of the number of doctor appointments we have endured. Jackson has sinus issues, impacted wax in his ears (gross, i know), a broken foot, all was being handled very well until this morning. I woke up to my youngest saying he was "ick" (sick). He then puked everywhere. And again and again, threw up all morning, while I am supposed to be packing for our much anticipated annual beach vacation. ugh. i am feeling so overwhelmed and discouraged. We are all headed to bed for naps to see if this afternoon looks better.

uugghhhh...

update

jackson had a 4 hour nap this afternoon only to wake up and crawl into my bed. I went to work out and left him with daddy. When I got home jackson was sound asleep in my bed and hadn't moved since I left. When I woke him up he complained that he was just too sleepy and asked to go back to bed. I started to get worried that he was so lethargic. We forced some fluids in him but he still refused to eat, actually gagging when we made him put a cracker in his mouth. So daddy unfortunately put his work skills to use and gave him an IV with some fluids to help perk him up. He still has a fever and just can't seem to shake this.

Just as we got jackson settled and to bed, Logan started complaning that his tummy and back hurt. We chalked it up to needing attention since big brother was getting so much being sick and gave him a bath and put him to bed. After Logan asked me to rub his belly, I could see that he really wasn't feeling good. He then sat up in bed and puked the entire contents of lunch and dinner that had been sitting in his tummy. A trip to the tub while daddy cleaned up the mess (thank you daddy) and logan spiked a fever and started with chills and chattering teeth. All I can say is being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding job there is. I just need to babies to get better soon! Thank you Jesus that my migraine responded quickly to medicine and I was able to nap with the boys this afternoon and am feeling much better.

sick kids, i have a migraine today, 11 days to go until my triathlon, this isn't shaping up to be one of the best weeks. hopefully we can all recover quickly. jackson is having an awful time with the croup, ear infection and medicine that makes him nauseated. He hasn't eaten real food since last wednesday and we are trying to push fluids as much as possible. He crawled to my room this morning because he said his legs weren't working (leg cramps again) so I am sitting on the couch forcing sips and chips every few minutes to get some fluids into him. All this while logan tries to navigate the finer art of construction with lincoln logs. Why can't kids just "play" and not get shown how to do everthing. he isn't doing very well with teaching himself. Anyway, I'll be back when everyone is feeling better!!

to cook or not to cook...

Everynight is a major struggle over the decision...do I cook or not? There is always cereal or maybe tuna. Or I could talk my amazing hubby into taking us out! That is always an option. I remember the single and dating days when we had not a care in the world and we came and went as we pleased. A midnight meal at waffle house or wendy's was a normal thing for us. Then came kids and I wanted to be the picture perfect family.

Well, I don't enjoy being in the kitchen. I might even go so far as to say I hate being in the kitchen. I can whip up a few things here and there. Taco soup, throw a stouffers lasagna in the oven, a quick salad, etc. John would probably say that jambalaya pasta is my specialty but don't tell him it's just zatarans! My poor youngest, logan, would eat spaghetti and pizza every other night but I don't ever think to make it because he is the only one in the family who would eat it. And then there is jackson. He actually didn't even eat yesterday. Yep, that's right, just decided food wasn't for him. (of course for anyone that knows us, you know this is our ongoing struggle and issue with him). Today he made up for it but only ate his accepted foods, to the extreme. 10 peices of turkey bacon, extra crispy, 5 strawberry Nutragrain bars, 5 Wendy's chicken nuggets, extra hot, and almost a whole box of grahm crackers (only the ones that weren't broken of course!)


So here I am, mother of 2 boys, wife to an amazing guy, gal who wants to eat healthy who could (and SHOULD) make meal planning, preparing, cooking, and serving a FULL-TIME job. But I don't, and haven't, for so many reasons. I'm tired for one. Not tired as in worked all day, just home from the office after a full day of board meetings and then fought through traffic to get the kids from day care tired. The tired that creeps into my body and soul. The tired that robs me of sleep at night as I toss and turn trying to find answers to what my family needs and how I can provide it. The tired that is there after researching, reading, searching for food therapy solutions, trying out the ideas I've learned, given it my heart and soul only to have my 5 year old either gag, cry, or decided to not eat for 24 hours after I've tried everything I can to relate to his sensory processing disorder self. I find myself exhausted just thinking about all the food ideas I've come up with and all the food I've wasted and thrown away after a 30 min food session that only resulted in jackson sniffing the newly introduced item. The baby steps I am taking are so minute, I don't even thing we are actually moving forward. And that is just jackson!!

On the days I actually do cook and pretend I have a "normal" family, a certain brilliant author I know comes home and would rather just have cereal. You mean I stood up for an hour trying to read a recipe for healthy fish cakes and slaved over preparing them and side items only to be met with, "i'm just not up to that tonight". (although I have to give him credit for always trying what I make). Tonight was "make what you have in the freezer seem like a great meal night" Main ingredient, Jennie-o lean ground turkey, mmmmmm. Left over from my Biggest Loser inspiration shopping trip. So I google turkey recipes, find one that look appealing, and dive in with zeal! Spicy turkey burgers with things like cumin, garlic, soy sauce, and about 12 more ingredients. I decide tater tots would be a quick and easy compliment to my attempt at something out of the ordinary so I preheat the oven and get to work. The turkey burgers were ready to hit the grill just about the time Mr. wonderful was ready for dinner, perfect! As I call the family to the table I of course hear the usual "I'm not hungry" from jackson, logan chimes in with "I just want cookies!" and John is ready for anything. 2 bites into my 'semi-gourmet' turkey burgers, I'm not impressed and my other half is scarffing the tater tots!! I gave the recipe 2 stars out of 5 but that was probably generous. sigh. At least we didn't go hungry, the tater tots were really good!! :)


All of this to be said, I feel like a failure as the wife and mom in this family. My oldest won't eat. My youngest eats everything, all the time, and probably too much junk. We spend way too much money on going out to eat, and I am at a loss for figuring out what I want to cook and then hate cooking it only to NOT enjoy eating it. So, my few and faithful blog readers, I need a few easy and tasty meals that I can rotate with my family so I can start being budget friendly, somewhat healthy, and not feel like a total LOSER! Thank you so much!